The only ones allowed to touch you down there were your doctor and your husband. The doctor did, and my husband didn't. And to tell you the truth, I liked it when the doctor did. I just couldn't tell him." Nobody ever mentioned that sex was a highly pleasurable thing?" There were a couple girls in school who talked about it. But they were considered tramps. My mother always stressed to me the value of a good reputation." What did you do when you got aroused? Surely you got turned on now and then." Oh yes I did. I knew I couldn't talk to my mother, so I asked the school nurse about it. She said, 'Say 5 Hail Marys and ask St Anne to help you.'" Did it help?" For a while. It gave me something else to think about. But, it felt almost perverse though. Here I was praying while my lips are getting swollen and slippery. That made me feel worse. I started just putting those horny feelings out of my head." "Mom, I'm sorry. It's a shame you grew up that way, especially considering the fact that. .. wanted to kill myself for months, but couldn't do that to Millicent and this one," she patted her stomach, to indicate the little one growing inside her.I stood still as a statue and let her talk. She could see the hurt in my eyes, but I gave no other outward signs of the turmoil I was suffering.Rebecca put an end to my suffering with her next statement."We met a couple times a week until I knew I was expecting, and when I told him, he turned his back and walked away without a single word."It Hurt So Bad, and then I realized that was exactly what I was going to inflict on you, when you found out. I could have tried to make you think it was yours, but Maglio is a very dark skinned Puerto Rican. His child will definitely not be Irish white, even though it will be half me."Brian, I wanted to wait until the season was over, to let you do what you had to do without this hanging over your head, but I need to leave ... Knowing I was pregnant, gave me the courage to break things off with.
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